Little Pets, Crazy Humans
by Gamer95
Summary: Blythe never came to the pet shop. Instead, the pets meet Drake and Josh, Ian and Anthony, Deadpool, Chuggaaconroy, Nostalgia Critic and Angry Video Game Nerd. Will this unlikely groups wacky antics destroy the shop? Will Deadpool ever stop calling Zoe Twilight Barkle? And will Ian ever learn how to brush his teeth? Find out the answer to all these questions in this very story!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello to all zero of you reading this. I'm writing a side story to Journey of the Heroes. Basically this is a what-if story: what if, instead of Blythe, a bunch of my randomly chosen characters and internet celebrites were chosen for the role of meeting the pets? This! It's not really spectacular, but I had fun writing it.**

Drake leaned back against the couch in his and Josh's room and sighed contentedly. Life was good in San Diego. He had a band, a ton of friends, and a girlfriend. _"I wouldn't change my life even the slightest bit." _He thought. Then, Josh entered the room.

"Oh hey, Josh, what's up?" Drake asked.

"Drake, I've got some good news and some great news!" Josh said excitedly.

"Oh yeah? What is it?" Drake asked as he grabbed a glass of milk.

"The good news is Dad got a promotion!" Josh replied.

"Whoa, seriously? That's awesome!" Drake said. "So what's the great news?" He asked as he sipped the milk.

"We're moving!" Josh replied. He was immediately met with a faceful of milk, courtesy of Drake's mouth. "...Oh geez, I just realized that that's BAD news!"

"For US it is!" Drake replied. "I have a life here!"

"Uh, me too!" Josh replied. Drake stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds before trying to stifle a laugh. "Y'know, you and Megan are the reason I go to therapy."

_Meanwhile..._

"Dude, why the hell are we moving to...Whatever the hell this place is called?" Anthony asked Ian in annoyance.

"Ugh! I told you five times already! We're trying to find the lost city of Atlantis!" Ian replied.

"Uh, I don't think we're gonna find it in the middle of a city." Anthony said in confusion.

"Ugh! Look, do YOU know where it is?!" Ian snapped.

"Uh, noooo. Nobody does." Anthony replied.

"Exactly! Now shut the hell up!" Ian snapped.

"...If I do, can we get a pizza?" Anthony asked.

"No, dude, we agreed on tacos!" Ian replied.

"Yeah, but I REALLY want pizza."

"Tacos."

"Pizza."

"Tacos."

"Pizza."

"Tacos!"

"Pizza!"

"TACOS!"

"PIZZA!"

"Would you two shut the hell up so I can sleep?!" Ian's mom said from the backseat.

"Oh, uh... sure, Mom." Ian replied.

"Bout damn time." Ian's mom muttered.

"Tacos." Ian whispered.

"Pizza." Anthony whispered back.

_Meanwhile still..._

"WILSON! I AM GONNA FREAKING MURDER YOU!" Taskmaster shouted. Deadpool was now genuinely scared. He couldn't really die of course, but he could feel pain, and Taskmaster was REALLY mad no-

"Hey! Enough with the exposition! Help me out here!" Deadpool snapped at the author.

**Um... How do you want me to do that?**

"I dunno! Give me something to do!"

**Okay, uh... you're moving away in an attempt to escape the wrath of Taskmaster.**

"Good idea! He'll never find me in...wait, where does this Littlest Pet Shop show take place?"

**Hell if I know.**

"Try doing some RESEARCH!"

**I did! I couldn't find anything!**

"Ugh... Wait, why is Taskmaster mad at me again?"

**JUST GO GET PACKED!**

"All right! All right! Geez!" And so, Deadpool left the scene to pack his Golden Girls DVDs and lucky underwear. "Everything else is not important!" Deadpool looked around, trying to find a method of transportation. "Okay, no time to wait for a bus, all the cab drivers are terrified of me..." Then he saw a car carrying two teenage boys, a preteen girl and a married couple. "...Meh. What the hell." And with that, he teleported onto the roof of the car.

_Still meanwhile..._

"So yeah, I'm gonna be moving into an apartment in another city." Emile said while he, Jon and Tim played Mario Party 8.

"Why?" Jon asked. "I mean, you've got a really nice house. Why are you moving into an apartment?"

"Well, it's a really nice apartment actually. I mean, it's above a pet shop. That's pretty cool, right?"

"Whoa, seriously?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, it's called Littlest Pet Shop." Emile replied.

"...What." Jon replied.

"I know, right?" Emile chuckled. "Animals are allowed in the apartment because of it, so I don't even have to worry about my cats!"

"Cool." Jon replied. "AW WHAT?!" Emile and Tim laughed as he landed on a Bowser space.

_STILL meanwhile..._

The Nostalgia Critic wandered the streets of the city he had just moved into. He pulled out a map and looked at it in confusion.

"Where the hell do I go?" He said while scratching his head. After about half an hour of searching, he sighed in frustration. "Great. I finally get out of that hellhole of a house to a nice apartment, and I'm hopelessly lost. Fan-f*ckingtastic. Wait... I can't say f*ck? What the hell is this sh*t? ...Oh God. I've been..." The camera zoomed in on the Critic's face while dramatic music played. "Censored."

"Man, you're telling me! This sucks donkey d*cks!" A familiar voice said. The Critic tensed up and turned around. The other figure recongnized him. The two glared at each other.

"NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRD!" The Critic screamed.

"F******************************CK!" The Nerd countered. There was an awkward silence. "It's just not the same..."

"Eh, we can always just imagine that the words aren't long bleeps." The Critic replied.

"Yeah, I guess." The Nerd replied. The two nodded at each other. Then they ran at each other, ready for battle.

_Back with Drake and Josh..._

"Isn't this exciting?!" Walter Nichols asked.

"Sure, honey." Audrey replied.

"Not really." Josh said.

"Whatever." Megan muttered.

"This stinks!" Drake snapped.

"Glad to hear it!" Walter said obliviously.

"Drake, Josh, I understand you don't want to leave your friends behind." Audrey said. "But this is a chance to make new friends, start a fresh life."

"I LIKED our old life!" Drake replied. "And then out of nowhere you just tell me we're moving, and we immediately pack all of our stuff and hop in the van!"

"Oh come on, Drake!" Walter replied. "There'll be cute little animals right below us!"

"Oh yeah, because dogs and cats are TOTALLY suitable replacements for a band and a hot girlfriend!" Drake replied bitterly.

"Okay, no need to be so bitter Drake." Megan said. She had gotten a lot nicer over the years.

"BULLSH*T MOVE AUTHOR!" Deadpool's voice sounded from offscreen.

"Who said that?" Josh asked as everyone started looking around.

"I'M NOT ON THE ROOF OF YOUR CAR!" Deadpool replied.

"...Honey, pull over." Audrey said.

"But honey, he said he WASN'T on the roof of our car!" Walter replied. Everyone else facepalmed, Deadpool included. "Oh look, we're here!" And sure enough, they were.

"Littlest Pet Shop." Josh read.

"What." Drake said flatly.

"I know, right?" Megan snickered.

"Just get out of the car." Walter muttered. And so, the family got out of the car. Drake and Josh got out first, dodging all the movers carrying boxes. They looked on sadly as the movers carried their stuff into the building.

"This really sucks, man." Drake muttered.

"I know. But hey. Maybe mom's right. Maybe we CAN make some new friends, and-AHH!" Drake and Josh both yelped and jumped back slightly. Two girls about their age were standing there. They both had long hair that went over one of their red eyes, red shirts and plaid skirts, although one of them was wearing red leggings. The only distinguishable difference between them was their hair. One had white hair, one had black hair. They both looked at each other as Drake and Josh got into karate poses.

"Oh, uh... sorry. You startled us." Josh said.

"Yeah, that happens." The black haired one said.

"A. Lot." The white haired one added.

"Um... do you two appear out of nowhere often?" Drake asked.

"NOBODY KNOWS BECAUSE THEY'VE ONLY APPEARED IN TWO OUT OF THREE EPISODES! WE MIGHT FIND OUT ON SATURDAY!" Deadpool shouted offscreen.

"Um... Do you know that guy?" The white haired one asked.

"THEY WILL!" Deadpool replied. "UM... I MEAN QUACK! I'M JUST A DUCK! I WASN'T ON YOUR CAR THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE MOVING!"

There was a long silence.

"That guy is a total. Freak." The black haired one said flatly.

"Pfft. Big time." Drake said, rolling his eyes.

"I PREFER THE TERM CRIMINALLY INSANE-"

**SHUT UP, DEADPOOL!**

"Sorry, author..." Deadpool replied.

"Aaaaanyway, I'm Josh Nichols. And this is my stepbrother, Drake Parker." Josh introduced.

"I'm Whitney Biskit." The black haired one said.

"And I'm like, Britney Biskit." The white haired one said.

"We're twins." They both said simultaneously. Deadpool's brain exploded at the revelation. But it's okay, it grew back.

"Really. I couldn't tell." Josh said flatly.

"Are you gonna like, live here?" Britney asked.

"Well, yeah, hence the moving people carrying boxes with the names Josh Nichols and Drake Parker inside." Josh said.

"Ah, too bad." Whitney said. "This building is..."

"Laaaame." Britney finished.

"I don't know, I think it's kinda nice." Josh said. "I mean, its well constructed, looks homey enough and it looks like it has a lot of roo-"

"NEEEEEERD!" Some random guy shouted offscreen.

"HEY!" Josh shouted back. "NOBODY ASKED YOU!" The twins looked down at Josh's jeans and T-Shirt.

"Are those your clothes?" Britney asked.

"No. They're the King of England's. Oprah's clothes are in the wash." Josh snarked.

"...Dude, Oprah's a chick." Drake said.

"SARCASM!" Josh snapped.

"Well, obviously you need some new ones, so if you wanna go shopping with us..." Whitney began.

"We'll like, let you." Britney finished. Drake immediately pulled Josh to the side.

"Dude. Don't. Do it. You have so much to live for. Like... Like... Ugh, just don't do it, okay?"

"Why not?" Josh asked. "Two girls want to do something with me. What's wrong with that?"

"Dude, if they take you shopping, you will be there ALL. DAY. LONG." Drake said.

"But-But I have work to do! Stuff to unpack, put away, figure out a good place for everything, try to keep you from messing it all up in the span of five milliseconds..."

"Then just say no." Drake interrupted Josh's ramble.

"Right." Josh nodded. He approached the girls maturely. "Sorry, but I have a lot of work to do. Unpacking, making sure Drake doesn't destroy the place... So, sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no." And so he and Drake walked into the building.

"Excuse me?" Whitney said as she and Britney somehow ended up in the building, slowly approaching the two. Drake and Josh stepped back, terrified out of their wits. "FYI, Josh, we've NEVER been told no."

"And now that it's happening, OMG, I don't think we particularly like, like it!" Britney finished.

"...WHAT ARE YOU?!" Drake and Josh shouted simultaneously.

"Aw, look at you!" Walter's voice sounded offscreen. Drake, Josh, Whitney and Britney looked over to see him and Audrey looking at the animals. "You're such a cutie-wootie! Yes you are! Oh yes you are!" He gasped. "Just look at you!" Then he started making monkey noises, complete with movement.

"Walter, seriously. Stop it. People are staring. In fact, they're all recording this." Audrey said. Walter really didn't give a damn and kept right on doing it.

"Oh Dad..." Josh facepalmed.

"Aw, Walter." Drake looked away. Whitney and Britney just laughed.

"You might want to tell your father not to get used to those pets!" Britney said.

"Yeah, Littlest Pet Shop won't be around much longer!" Drake, Josh and Audrey shoved Walter into the building while the twins walked away laughing.

"Great, that's gonna be ALL OVER the internet." Drake muttered. Once they got inside, Ian and Anthony approached the building.

"Dude, did you see those two girls?" Ian asked.

"Yeah, man. They were total bitches!" Anthony chuckled. Ian snickered.

"They had emo hair! Just like you!"

"Hey! I do the whole emo thing right! They just look like bitches!"

"Whatever, Mr. Teen Girl Clone!" Ian laughed until Anthony shoved him into the glass containing the animals. They took one look and massive grins spread across their faces. They squealed like fangirls and started doing exactly what Walter had been doing. Ian's mom walked up and looked at the animals. Then she looked at Ian and Anthony. Then she pulled out a video camera.

Two hours later...

"All right, let's go into our new house and make our plans to find Atlantis!" Ian said happily.

"Yeah!" Anthony said excitedly. The two ran straight for the stairs. It was at this moment that Deadpool knew it was safe to come out of hiding. So he leapt over the car and looked over at the animals. He stared at them for a few seconds, then planted his face against the glass. He chuckled as a pink monkey with two ponytails did the same. He then started wiggling his fingers. The monkey did the same. Then he started shaking his head. The monkey copied him again. Then he did the Moonwalk, which the monkey immediately copied. Then he started doing random, spastic movements, which the monkey followed. Deadpool laughed hysterically.

"Hahaha! This is the coolest monkey ever!" He laughed. Then he shot the video camera that Ian's mom was holding.

"Damn it! It was gonna get so many views..." She muttered before walking away. Deadpool looked at the room where the animals were. Then he noticed something. There was a dumbwaiter. And inside that dumbwaiter was a chimichanga! He looked down at his belt. Then he teleported into the room with the delicious treat.

"Yeah! Teleportation powers for the freaking win!" Deadpool said loudly. Then he approached the dumbwaiter as the animals stared at him, and started making noises at each other, as if they were having a conversation. Deadpool looked down at the chimichanga as an angelic choir played. "I must savor this moment. I will wait for a few minutes before enjoying God's most wonderful creation, talking to myself in the process." As Deadpool stared at the Godsend, Emile walked through the door.

"My, my! I sure am getting a lot of new neighbors today!" An elderly woman exclaimed as she saw Emile walk in behind his movers. "My name is Mrs. Twombly. I have a first name, but I just prefer Mrs Twombly.

"Hey, nice to meet ya. My name is Emile." Emile shook Mrs. Twombly's hand. "In other words, hey, it's chuggaaconroy!"

"Oh I think I've seen a couple of your Super Mario Sunshine videos!" Mrs. Twombly said. "They were pretty funny!"

"Thanks!" Emile replied. "That playthrough still isn't one of my favorites though."

"Really? Why is that?"

"If you watch my Majora's Mask LP, you'd get it. I think it was episode 25."

"GODDAMNIT AUTHOR, STOP SUCKING!" Deadpool shouted from the other room. Emile and Mrs. Twombly stared at him.

"I'll just go to my room and put my stuff away." Emile said. Mrs. Twombly nodded. Meanwhile, the Critic and the Nerd were duking it out just outside. And it was probably very awesome. But you don't get to read it. HAHA! Meanwhile, back up in Drake and Josh's new room, Drake was playing his guitar while Josh unpacked everything.

"Y'know, you COULD come and help me put all this stuff away!" Josh snapped.

"Yeah, but that's there and I'm here, so y'know." Drake waved dismissively. Josh growled. Drake then started to sing.

_My brother Josh... Is unpacking our stuff... He's looking pretty ticked off... He's found a window... He's trying to open it... It won't open... He uses his guitar for Guiiiitar Heeero...It worked but the guitar broke... Josh is buried in clothes... He's coming towards me... He has duct tape... He's-MMPH!_

"That oughta shut you up for..." Josh paused. "Hey, Drake! Take a look at this!" Josh pointed at a shaft. Inside it was a rope.

"Hey, whattya know! It's a... dumbwaiter elevator thingy!" Drake said after tearing off the tape. Him and Josh looked down.

"Whoa! It looks like it goes all the way down to the first floor!" Josh exclaimed.

"Hey, Josh! Ya hear that music?" Josh listened closely.

"Yeah, what about it?" He asked.

"I need to find who's making it and congratulate them." Drake said.

"Uh. No." Josh replied.

"What?" Drake asked.

"You will NOT go in that dumbwaiter. You could get seriously hurt!" Josh nagged.

"Oh, come on! What's the worst that could happen?" Drake asked.

"...You could DIE?!" Josh snapped.

"Well, we all gotta take risks." Drake replied. "I'm doing it."

"Fine." Josh said. "Y'know what? If ya do this, I'm going with ya!"

"Ah, you're finally growing a spine, are ya Josh?" Drake teased.

"Yeah! I'm gonna live a little!" Josh said.

"That's what I like to hear!" Drake said. And so he and Josh pulled the dumbwaiter up.

"All right, the savoring is OVER! COMMENCE SHOVELING!" And so Deadpool reached out to grab the chimichanga...only for the dumbwaiter to immediately go up, out of his reach. "W-Wait! Come back! COME BACK! But the chimichanga was gone along with the dumbwaiter. Deadpool got on his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO-" He shouted. The animals all looked at him. Then at each other. Then they shrugged.

"All right, Josh, let's take this bad boy for a spin!" Drake said.

"Wait, will we both fit?" Josh asked. Conveniently, there was just enough room for both of them. "All right, let's do this thing!" And so they both climbed in.

"Ian, this stupid door won't open." Anthony said in annoyance as he pulled at the door handle.

"Here, let me try." Ian said. He stood in front of the door and cracked his knuckles. Then he made hand gestures and said "OPEN SESAME!" It didn't work. "Well, I'm out of ideas." Ian shrugged.

"Okay, let's both try to pull it open." Anthony suggested.

"Good idea!" Ian agreed.

"Okay, on three." Anthony said. "One, two, three!" And then the two started pulling. It still wouldn't open, so they put their feet on the door to put more force into it. "Wait...Ian?"

"Yeah, Anthony?"

"I just realized something kind of important."

"What's that, Anthony?"

"...We're about to get seriously injured."

"Why's that, Anthony?" Then they put too much force into trying to get the door open and flew backwards, rolling down the huge flight of stairs behind them. They passed Ian's mom on the way down. She watched them roll out of sight, then got up to the room and turned the door handle. The door immediately opened.

"F*cking idiots." She muttered before entering the room. Meanwhile, Emile had just gotten into his room.

"Well, now that I'm all unpacked, I might as well record the first episode of my 20th LP." And so Emile looked inside his game collection. He found all the games he made an LP of and more. Everything EXCEPT his 20th LP. "Oh my God..." He said. "I FORGOT IT AT JON'S HOUSE!" And with that, he started angrily hitting his head against the wall, calling himself stupid nonstop. And now, the Critic and the Nerd were continuing their fight.

"All right, Nerd. Let's settle this."

"Yeah, let's find out who the true domination of the internet is!" And with that, the two ran at each other and each landed a headbutt at the same time. They both recoiled in pain, holding onto their heads. The Nerd glared and raised a fist to punch the Critic.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait." The Critic stopped him. "Why are we fighting?"

"We always fight when we meet." The Nerd reminded him.

"Yeah, but... we did a review together.' The Critic replied.

"Yeah, then you attacked me for launching a pen at you." The Nerd reminded him.

"Oh yeah." The Critic recalled. Then the two of them got back to fighting. They eventually ended up fighting in the pets room, while Mrs. Twombly obliviously looked for pet food. The pets all retreated into the corner and watched in fear and Deadpool continued screaming for his lost food as the two critics battled. Eventually, the Critic started slamming the Nerd's head into the ground. The Nerd then overpowered the Critic and did the same to him. After 10 seconds of this, the two sprawled out on the ground, panting heavily.

"Truce?" The Nerd requested. The Critic nodded.

"Truce." The two shook hands as they tried to regain their breath.

"Man, it's like a dust bunny convention in here." Josh muttered from inside the dumbwaiter. He looked over at Drake. "...Drake, what are you eating?"

"A chimichanga." Drake said, pulling out a half eaten chimichanga. "Want a bite?"

"..I'm good." Josh replied. Drake shrugged and finished the chimichanga. Josh continued to move the dumbwaiter down...and let out a high pitched scream as he saw a spider.

"Um...Josh?"

"Yeah, Drake?"

"You just let go of the rope."

"Oh geez." And the dumbwaiter fell, carrying the two screaming boys along with it.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOO- Ooh, hey, a nickel!" Deadpool said as he climbed inside the shaft to collect his consolation prize. He bent down to pick it up...and Drake and Josh's dumbwaiter immediately came down on top of him with a loud crash. Drake and Josh fell out of the dumbwaiter and hit their heads. Then, Ian and Anthony came rolling into the room after their ordeal with the stairs, both bleeding heavily from their foreheads. Then, Emile came into the room with a large bruise on his forehead.

"What's with all the noise?" He asked.

"Who ARE these people?" Asked a deep male voice. Everyone looked around in confusion. The ones talking were blocked from view by the smoke the dumbwaiter made upon impact. Deadpool was too busy being squashed flat to notice.]

"I GOT THIS." A female voice said. "There are the two boys who fell out of the wall, the two guys who started a fight in here, the two guys with the bleeding foreheads, the guy with the enormous bruise, and the guy crushed under the dumbwaiter." The voice chuckled. "How funny is that?"

"...It's not funny." The Critic muttered. The other guys nodded in agreement, except Deadpool, who couldn't hear him.

"I hope they're not hurt." A different female voice said in concern.

"Oh, I'm sure they are." Another male voice sounded. As if to confirm, Deadpool's muffled groan could be heard by everyone.

"I think the crazy guy in the red suit got the worst of it." The deep male voice shouted.

"Oh dear Russell, go check. You have experience with this sort of thing." A sophisticated female voice said.

"I do?" A different male voice said.

"Double D?" Emile whispered.

"No, his name is Russell! Weren't you paying attention?" Ian whispered back.

"No, I'm still trying to grasp the whole situation." Emile replied.

"Russell, just go! Please?" Another female voice...

"Okay, okay." The male voice sounded. Then, out of the smoke, rolled...

"Sonic the Hedgehog?!" Ian shouted.

"Haha! He actually got it right! Well, the hedgehog part, anyway." The hedgehog said happily to a purple dog, grey skunk, green gecko, pink monkey, purple and white panda and blue mongoose. The guys stared. Then they stared some more. Then they started screaming.

"DEMON! DEMON!" The Critic shouted, pointing at the hedgehog.

"The power of Christ compels you!" The Nerd shouted, holding up a cross.

"Geez, you'd think they've never seen a hedgehog before." Russell muttered. "Anyway, they seem pretty sturdy."

"What about the guy in the red suit?" The pink monkey asked. "I liked him."

The dog motioned to the dumbwaiter and tilted her head in an attempt to get the guys to raise it.

"WE'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! JUST DON'T STEAL OUR SOULS!" Anthony half shouted half sobbed as he raised the dumbwaiter.

"...Ow..." Deadpool muttered as he stood up. Then, the monkey perched herself on his head.

"Oh good. He can stand up. HE'S FINE!" She exclaimed before jumping off. Deadpool stood silently for a couple seconds, then turned to the guys.

"...Did Monkey Pie over there just talk?" He asked. The guys nodded.

"What is happening to us?" Josh asked shakily. "These-these animals are talking and we-we can understand them!"

"What was in that chimichanga?!" Drake asked himself fearfully.

"Note to self: I'm killing that guy. Also, YAAAY! NEW POWER!" Deadpool exclaimed happily.

"Hold on...did you just say that you can UNDERSTAND us?" Russell asked. The animals all gasped.

"Let me handle this, Russell." The skunk said before approaching Emile, who backed away into a corner. He held up his hands defensively as she rested her front paws on his leg. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?!" Emile nodded. The skunk looked at the others. Deadpool said "Hell yeah!" while everyone else just nodded. The animals all started chattering excitedly.

"So do you have names?" The gecko asked. The guys responded the only way they could think of. They screamed like little girls.


	2. Littlest Pet Shop Pets

**All right, second chapter! I admit: the first chapter really wasn't anything special. I never was good at first chapters... But it will get better after this. ...I think.**

"So...Your name is GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?" The gecko asked.

"N-No. We were just so scared of the fact that you can TALK, that we had to scream!" Josh replied.

"I just wanted to fit in." Deadpool said with a shrug.

"So then, what ARE your names?" The dog asked.

"Um... Well...I-I'm Josh, and th-this is my brother Drake..." Josh replied nervously.

"I'm Ian, and this is Anthony. DON'T MAUL US!" Ian and Anthony flinched back.

"The name's Deadpool. I'm a mercenary, I'm almost immortal, and I'm what some of you might call "criminally insane." I've also been told I have a short attention span, but I'm gonna tell ya right no-Ooh, a housefly." Deadpool followed the housefly.

"I'm...Emile." Emile said. "It may be spelled similar to Emily, but my name is NOT Emily!"

"I'm...the Nostalgia Critic...I...remember it so you don't have to."

"And...I'm the f*ckin Nerd."

"...Um, can we just call you Nerd? We don't like swearing." Russell replied.

"As long as you promise not to eat our brains." The Nerd replied. The pets looked at each other in disgust.

"Wouldn't dream of it." The skunk said.

"Well, now we know your names, but you don't know ours." The dog said. "Allow me to introduce you to everyone with a little number I like to call..." She stopped to think. "Ah, yes. Let me introduce you to everyone!" And then the monkey pressed play on a CD player.

"Um...what the hell is going on here?" Emile asked.

"Ooh, are we doing a musical number?" Deadpool barged back into frame. "Take it, Twilight Barkle!"

_"I'm gonna tell ya bout a few things..."_

"YEAH! CALLED IT!" Deadpool shouted. Everyone else groaned.

_"So just watch me, gonna steal the show, sit on back and try to follow..."_

"Dude, what was in that pizza we had?" Anthony asked Ian nervously.

"We had tacos!" Ian snapped. The dog zipped up to Ian's leg, causing him to let out a scream and jump back into a defensive stance.

_"My name is Zoe Trent_

_And to the full extent_

_I'm a big star here_

_I sing the songs that represent."_

"I'm still gonna call ya Twilight Barkle..." Deadpool muttered as Zoe sang a few notes into her mic before the skunk grabbed it.

"Um...Hi, uh, I'm Pepper Clark. I'm actually a little bit of a star too, yeah, uh...actually a bit more of a comedian." The skunk said.

"Oh my God..." Ian began.

"Us too!" Anthony finished.

"Really? Great! You could help out with my act!" Pepper said happily.

"Yeah, maybe we'll do that after we stop being terrified of you!" Ian said happily.

"Okay!" Pepper said, equally happy. Then, Zoe took back her mic and started the song again.

_"Pepper here is my good friend_

_Ask her any knock-knock jokes cause she's kind of a comedian_

_And when she's happy, yeah, you can tell_

_Just stick your nose up and give the room a quick smell."_

The reactions varied. The gecko and Russell coughed. The monkey plugged her nose and said "Eeew!" The mongoose smelled his armpits. The bear looked away. Drake, Josh and Emile gagged and plugged their noses. Ian screamed as his head caught fire. Anthony was lying on the ground twitching. The Critic screamed like a little girl as the stink cloud dangled him upside down. The Nerd covered his mouth and nose while shouting obscenities. And while nobody noticed under his suit, Deadpool's flesh started melting.

"Y'know I'm standing right here." Pepper said indignantly.

"Meh, it's just an exaggeration played entirely for the rule of funny. The author won't do it again." Deadpool shrugged.

"Um...Okay?" Pepper said confused. Then, Zoe picked the song back up.

_"Yeah, that's Vinnie Terrio on the floor_

_I'd like to say he's done_

_But I'm sure he's gonna get back up and dance some more_

_But don't you worry, he's got a heart of gold_

_Not very bright, but he's one of us!"_

"Um...That was...kinda rude." The Critic said. Zoe didn't give time for another intermission and started up the chorus, where all of the pets sang.

_"We're the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, yeah the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, we're the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, yeah the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Littlest Pet Shop pets."_

"...Okay, cool, is that it or-" Emile was interrupted when Zoe started singing again. "Okay."

_"Minka Mark is a monkey artist_

_Talks a mile a minute, so don't let her get started_

_She's gonna paint this, she's gonna paint that_

_Okay, she's disappeared, does anyone here know where she's at?"_

Suddenly, Minka popped her head out of Deadpool's katana sheath, holding onto his katana, entranced by the glow of the blade.

"Ooh! It's shiny!" Then she got in Deadpool's face and grabbed his cheeks. "Can I have it? Can I? CAN I?!"

"Haha! Hell no!" Deadpool resheathed the sword. "It's waaaay too dangerous! Even when I'M using it!" Minka looked slightly disappointed, but perked up quickly.

"Okay." She shrugged. Then, someone coughed. Everyone looked to see the mongoose wearing a magician's hat and cape. He took off the hat and tapped it with a wand...and it exploded.

"Not again." He said.

"Oh, you do magic tricks?!" Josh said, causing the mongoose to jump slightly in alarm.

"Um..yes. You like magic tricks?" He asked.

"I LOVE magic tricks! I have a magic kit back in my room and-I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF YOU!" And then Zoe continued the song.

_"This is Sunil Nevla, he's a mongoose_

_He's sort of a magician but his magic is a little loose_

_Sure he's a little glum, and likes to make a fuss_

_But we don't mind at all because he's one of us!"_

This time, Deadpool and Ian sang the "Littlest" in the chorus as the other humans stared in disbelief

_"We're the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, yeah the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, we're the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, yeah the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Littlest Pet Shop pets!"_

"This is AWESOOOOOOME!" Ian shouted.

"Hell yeah it is!" Deadpool agreed. Then, the bear, holding a ribbon, did a ballet dance right past them, and Vinnie crashed into her.

"Awww, Vinnie!" She said in annoyance.

"Oops, sorry Penny Ling!" Vinnie apologized. Then, Russell stepped in.

"Um...Zoe, maybe the song should end soon? We... seem to be making quite a mess here."

"I-I say we listen to him..." Emile said nervously.

"THANK YOU, Emile!" Russell said. "FINALLY, someone who shares my views!"

"Um...You're...welcome?" Emile said, still eyeing the pets cautiously. Then, Zoe moved on.

_"This is Russell, Russell Ferguson_

_He's a little uptight and wants to get the song done_

_Penny Ling, are you okay? _

_I think that's everybody, so what do you say?"_

"So...um...who are you guys again?" Ian asked. "I stopped paying attention every time the chorus came up. I only hear the word Littlest, which I totally sang along to."

"Ian, you're an idiot." Anthony said flatly.

_"We're the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, yeah the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, we're the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets, yeah the littlest_

_Littlest_

_Pet Shop pets..."_

They sang the chorus one last time while backing Anthony into the corner. Ian and Deadpool watched while they ate pink frosted sprinkled doughnuts, and the others watched in horror.

"AHH! THEY'RE COMING! H-H-HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHELP!" Anthony sobbed.

"DON'T WORRY, ANTHONY!" The Critic boomed. "I'LL SAVE YOU!" And the Critic ran and grabbed Anthony's hand, pulling him away just as the animals finished. The guys stared at the animals for a while. Then, everyone but Ian and Deadpool turned to leave.

"Pfft! Spoilsports!" Ian scoffed.

"Meh. They'll get over it." Deadpool assured. "The story calls for it."

"So...now what?" Pepper asked. Ian held up a box.

"Who wants to play Twister?!" He said excitedly. The pets went to do their normal business.

"...I wanna play Twister." Deadpool said.

"All right!" Ian said happily.

"Those guys are nuts!" Drake muttered.

"Let's just get out of here!" Emile muttered. Then, they bumped into a dark figure...


	3. Going Crazy?

"Why hello, Emile!" Mrs. Twombly said cheerfully. "I didn't hear you come in! Oh, and I see you brought friends!" And then everyone introduced themselves. I'm too lazy to write it in.

"M-M-Mrs. Twombly!" Emile said shakily. "Th-these animals...they're..."

"SINGING AND DANCING!" Anthony exclaimed fearfully.

"My little sweeties are singing and dancing?" asked, confused. She looked over. Zoe and Vinnie were just walking around the room. Pepper was on the arm of the chair. Minka was on the tire swing. Sunil and Russell were napping. Penny was playing with a ball. And Ian and Deadpool were playing Twister. Ian dislocated his shoulder and screamed in pain before falling over.

"I WIN!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"Oh sure! Make us look crazy! Thanks a lot!" Josh snapped. Mrs. Twombly laughed.

"You kids and your music!" She exclaimed. "Singing and dancing." She giggled as she walked away.

"N-Not only that! They...talked to us!" Drake exclaimed as they followed her[minus Ian and Deadpool]

"My, you kids are a hoot!" Mrs. Twombly said. "Though I must admit, the pets sometimes talk to me as well. However, they only seem to say "Feed us, Mrs. Twombly! We're so hungry! More food! Yum yum yum!"" Then she giggled. The boys stared at her awkwardly.

"Um... is there... some sort of medication you should be taking?" The Critic asked.

"I think WE'RE the ones who are gonna need medication." Emile said flatly.

"Anyway, the point is, we are dead f*ckin serious." The Nerd said. "DEAD. F*CKIN. SERIOUS. Those animals talked to us. They asked our names, and if we understood them. It's f*cking demonic!" Mrs. Twombly stared at them for a few moments.

"Dear, you and your friends need to pull your imaginations into the station." She said. "You know, sometimes weird things DO happen here at Littlest Pet Shop." Then the group heard a noise.

"Is this place...purring?" Anthony said shakily. The group started breathing heavily...then all ran out the door screaming like little girls.

"What was that noise?" Russell yawned as he approached Ian and Deadpool still playing Twister.

"Oh. The rest of the guys ran out like little pussies." Ian said.

"Yeah, the broken air conditioner might have something to do with it." Deadpool waved his hand dismissively. Then the two got back to their game.

"Ooh! That looks like fun! Can I play?!" Minka said, randomly dropping down from the ceiling.

"Yeah!" Ian said. Russell looked at Minka and blushed.

"Um...can I play too?" He asked.

"Sure thing!" Deadpool exclaimed.

Meanwhile, the other guys were still running down the street screaming like girls. They might have drawn a little less attention if they didn't stop to grab random strangers by the shoulders and shake them while simultaneously screaming in their face. They eventually stopped in front of a guy with a dog. They looked down at the dog.

"I like you. You crazy." It said.

"HE'S RIGHT! WE'RE CRAZY!" Josh shouted.

"NOHOHOHOHOHO!" Anthony shouted.

"WE'RE GONNA BE SENT TO AN ASYLUM TO GET ELECTRIC SHOCK THERAPY!" Drake shouted.

"I DON'T WANT TO GET ELECTRIC SHOCK THERAPY!" Emile shouted.

"WELL UNFORTUNATELY NOBODY BUT US GIVES A FLYING HIPPOPOTAMUS D*CK!" The Nerd shouted.

"LET'S GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE BEFORE SOMEONE CALLS THE AUTHORITIES!" The Critic shouted. Then they all ran off, still screaming like girls, leaving a very confused man.

"Was it something I said?" The dog asked. The guys ran all the way back to their apartments. Drake and Josh jumped into their bunk beds and started shaking uncontrollably. Anthony got into his bed, grabbed his teddy bear, held it close and started sobbing hysterically. Emile jumped into his bed, panting heavily. The Critic got into his sleeping bag on the floor and wrapped himself up like a cocoon. And the Nerd immediately started drinking Rolling Rock. Meanwhile, back with Ian, Deadpool and the pets, the pets were trying to restore Ian and Deadpool to their former forms after they got owned by Minka and Russell despite the fact that they had longer limbs.

"HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!" Ian sobbed, his arms bent all the way around his back and touching his face while he was doing the splits. Zoe, Sunil and Penny were trying to get his arms back to their regular position.

"HOW IN THE HELL DID WE MANAGE TO DO THIS TO OURSELVES?!" Deadpool sobbed, his limbs all backwards, one of his arms where his foot should be and vice versa. Russell, Vinnie, Pepper and Minka, following Deadpool's instructions, had started twisting his twisted limbs back into position.

_Many hours later..._

Ian went home to his bed and snuggled up with his stuffed Pikachu, Domo doll, and Kesha doll. Deadpool went home and snuggled up with his stuffed chimichanga. Little did they and the others know that the craziness was just beginning...


	4. Enlisting Help

A day had gone by. Ian and Deadpool were still the only ones who weren't scared. It was a peaceful day. The pets had just been dropped off at the Littlest Pet Shop. Suddenly a limousine pulled up in front of the shop. A woman with black hair and a business suit stepped out. She was holding a phone, and she was talking to someone as she walked into the pet shop. The pets all gathered at the window to see what was going on.

"Who is she?" Vinnie asked.

"I don't think we've seen her before." Pepper replied.

"Maybe we should listen in and find out." Russell said. The pets listened as the woman talked on her phone. They all started to doze off...

"I heard you were closing..." The woman began, immediately snapping all the pets to attention. Thry listened in horror as the woman said she was planning to buy the shop and turn it into a sweet shop when it was closed.

"Littlest Pet Shop is CLOSING?!" Sunil said after the woman left.

"Say it isn't so Zoe!" Pepper said desperately.

"I'm afraid it IS so..." Zoe said sadly.

"I don't want the Littlest Pet Shop to close!" Penny Ling said with tears in her eyes.

"Where will we go for day camp?" Minka said, hanging from.. seemingly nowhere.

"If only there were someone who could help us out!" Vinnie shouted. "Someone who can understand and communicate with us! Just one person is all we need! JUST! ONE! PERSON!"

"Okay Vinnie! We get it!" Russell said.

"Ooh! That's an easy one!" Penny Ling said. "There's Drake, Josh..."

"Not now, Penny Ling." Russell replied.

"Just one person who understands us!" Vinnie sobbed.

"Um.. we could ask Ian, or Anthony..."

"Not now Penny Ling! Can't you see the gravity of the situation?" Zoe replied.

"Dead...pool?" Penny Ling said, trying to get attention. "Maybe... Emile, the Nostalgia Critic, or the Nerd?"

"I got it!" Russell said. "We need Drake, Josh, Ian, Anthony, Deadpool, Emile, the Nostalgia Critic and the Nerd!" The pets all crowded around him excitedly, minus Penny Ling, who just looked exasperated.

Meanwhile, Drake and Josh were still asleep in their beds. Zoe and Sunil had taken the dumbwaiter up. They nodded at each other, then Zoe went to wake up Drake while Sunil went to wake up Josh.

"Drake, please be a dear and wake up." Zoe said in a firm voice.

"I don't wanna." Drake muttered.

"I really must insist." Zoe said.

"Just five more minutes Mom!" Drake said in annoyance. Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Are you having better luck, Sunil?" She was answered by muffled screaming. Josh had rolled over on top of Sunil. "JOSH! WAKE UP!" Zoe shouted in a panic, causing Josh to wake up screaming and flailing. He got tangled up in blankets, and then wrapped up in them like a cocoon. Then he and Sunil rolled off the bed, Josh hitting his head on the table. Josh and Sunil emerged from the blanket, Sunil gasping for air and Josh rubbing his head.

"Drake, what'd you wake me up f-" He saw Zoe and Sunil and screamed, jolting Drake out of his sleep.

"WH-WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Drake asked.

"THEY'VE COME TO LAY EGGS!" Josh screamed. Zoe and Sunil looked at each other in confusion.

"Um... no dear." Zoe said. "If I were to have a child, I'm quite sure it wouldn't come out of an egg."

"I am a male! And a mammal!" Sunil said in annoyance.

"Wh-what do you want with us?!" Drake asked.

"We came to ask you for help!" Sunil said. "Littlest Pet Shop is closing!"

"Uh, yeah, what of it?!" Josh said fearfully.

"Well, we need your help to save it!" Sunil replied.

"How are we supposed to do that?!" Drake said.

"I don't know! But you have to do something to help!" Sunil replied.

"Why?!" Josh said.

"Because if you don't, we'll be sent to the LARGEST EVER PET SHOP!" Zoe said desperately.

"So?" Drake said. "Wouldn't that be better? Bigger means better, right?"

"Oh you have NO idea..." Zoe said.

One explanation later...

Drake and Josh stood there wide-eyed.

"W-where did they get their hands on lava?" Drake asked.

"I'm more concerned about the dragons." Josh said.

"So will you PLEASE help us?!" Sunil begged. Then he and Zoe gave the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh God! Not the eyes!" Josh said.

"All right! All right! We'll help you!" Drake said. "Just please stop! It's too much!"

"Oh thank you thank you THANK YOU!" Zoe said, kissing Drake's foot.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now get in the dumbwaiter and I'll get you two back to the bottom." Zoe and Sunil obeyed.

"Oh, and uh... just one more thing." Sunil said.

"What?" Josh said.

"You have to save the shop by tommorow."

"WHAT?!" Drake and Josh shouted simultaneously. Unfortunately for the two pets, Drake let go of the rope, sending Zoe and Sunil falling to the bottom screaming the whole way. Drake and Josh cringed as they heard the crash.

"Drake, I think you killed em!" Josh said fearfully.

"Oh no! Oh man.." Drake leaned over the dumbwaiter. "Are-you two okay?" He was answered with two pained groans. "I'll uh... take that as a yes."

"Aw, Drake." Josh facepalmed.

Meanwhile...

"Hey. Ian. Hey Ian. What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?" Pepper asked a sleeping Ian.

"What?" Ian mumbled subconsciously.

"FROSTBITE!" Pepper concluded. Ian immediately woke up in a fit of laughter. After he calmed down, he noticed the skunk on his chest.

"PEPPER!" Ian said happily.

"Hey." Pepper said with a smile. Then they both looked over at Anthony, who was making really suggestive noises while making out with his teddy bear.

"Oh, Ian's Mom!" Anthony said before continuing with the disturbing noises. Pepper drew back, disturbed.

"ANTHONY!" Ian snapped, causing Anthony to jolt awake with a scream.

"Oh, dude, Ian, I had the craziest dream last night-what is that smell?!"

"Uh, sorry!" Pepper said. "Guess I'm a little nervous being up here!" She chuckled nervously. Anthony screamed like a little girl.

"WHAT IS THAT THING DOING HERE?!" He shouted.

"Gee, nice to see you too." Pepper said in a deadpan expression.

"Hey, Anthony! Don't be such a douche puncher!" Ian scolded. Then he looked to Pepper. "But I'm curious too. What brings you here?" Pepper immediately got in his face.

"YOU GUYS HAVE TO HELP US SAVE THE PET SHOP!" She said desperately.

"What's wrong?! Is it being robbed?" Ian asked.

"No."

"Is it being vandalized?" He asked again.

"No."

"IS IT BEING MUGGED?!" Ian asked in terror.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Pepper said.

"He never did make much sense." Anthony said.

"Well at least he's not as crazy as that Deadpool guy..." Pepper said.

"True that!" Anthony said.

"It's so nice to see you two getting along." Ian said with a smile.

"Oh, I'm still scared. Just trying not to make her mad so she doesn't steal my face." Anthony replied.

"That makes even less sense than what Ian said." Pepper said flatly.

"SHUT UP!" Anthony said childishly before throwing a pillow. Pepper dodged it though.

"So anyway, what's wrong with the Pet Shop?" Ian asked.

"It's closing! And we'll all have to be moved to the Largest Ever Pet Shop!"

"Wouldn't that be bett-"

One explanation later...

Ian and Anthony stared in shock.

"Huh. Who knew a raccoon could wield a rocket launcher." Ian said.

"I think the guard with chainsaws for arms was worse." Anthony replied.

"So will you help us?" Pepper pleaded.

"Count me in!" Ian said happily.

"I don't know..." Anthony said. Pepper and Ian won him over with the puppy dog eyes. "Ugh.. Fine."

"Yaaaay!" Ian and Pepper cheered.

"So how long do we have?" Anthony asked.

"A day." Pepper replied.

"WHAT?!" Ian leapt out of his bed, sending Pepper flying into a pile of clothes, burying her. Pepper's head emerged from the the clothes.

"Geez, when was the last time you washed this stuff?" She asked in disgust.

"About a year ago." Ian shrugged.

"And everyone says I smell..." Pepper muttered.

Meanwhile...

Deadpool was dreaming about girls who loved chimichangas. Minka suddenly leapt down on him from his dresser.

"HEYA THERE DEADPOOL!" She shouted, causing Deadpool to scream like a girl. Then he saw who it was.

"Minka! How ya doin? I was just having a dream about girls who love chimichangas!" The merc said.

"That sounds like a good dream!" Minka said. "Last night I had a dream that I made a sculpture out of ice cream and peanut butter, but I got hungry, so I ate it!"

"I once dreamt that the Hulk was universally accepted!" Deadpool replied.

"I once dreamt that Russell didn't ruin the cake at my birthday party last year!" Minka said.

"I once dreamt that Justin Bieber didn't suck!" Deadpool said. He and Minka stared at each other.

"Dreams are WEEEEEEIRD." Minka said.

"You said it." Deadpool agreed. "So what brings ya up here, Minks?"

Minka giggled. "I like that nickname! I came up here to ask you to help save Littlest Pet Shop!"

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Deadpool replied.

"It's closing! Closing, closing, CLOSING!" Minka said.

"Well, what happens after that? WAIT! Don't tell me! It involves Metroids, Necromorphs from Dead Space and Regenerators from Resident Evil 4!"

"Yeah, how did you know that?" Minka asked.

"I predicted the author's writing. So, uh... yeah, what the heck. I'll help you out."

"Thank you Deadpool! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthan kyou!"

"No problem! So let me guess. I only have until tommorow?"

"Yep!"

"Craaaaaaaap!"

Meanwhile...

The Nostalgia Critic was pacing his room.

"Okay, I'm not insane. It was just a dream. There are no talking dogs or monkeys or geckos..."

"Hi Critic." Vinnie waved.

"Hi talking gecko." The Critic said, continuing to pace. Then he tensed up, slowly turned around, looked at Vinnie and screamed like a girl. Vinnie did the same. The Critic screamed again. So did Vinnie. After half an hour of screaming at each other, the Critic pointed at Vinnie.

"Wh-what are you doing here?!" The Critic demanded. "I know kung fu! You better run!"

"Whoa! Calm down, Critic! I just came to ask for help!" Vinnie said.

"I WARNED YOU!" The Critic ran towards Vinnie, but slipped on a conveniently placed banana peel.

"Dude. just listen to me, would ya?" Vinnie asked.

"What are you?" The Critic whispered fearfully.

"I'm a gecko." Vinnie answered proudly.

"What resides within your body? What demon has taken residence in your soul? What supernatural forces corrupt you? How can I rescue you from the demon that lies within? Will it take an ancient artifact? Will it take a sacred chant? Will it take... human sacrifice?" The Critic said all this in a no-nonsense tone. Vinnie stared.

"I don't even know what you're talking about." He said. The Critic sighed.

"Look, what do you want from me?" He asked.

"YOU GOTTA HELP US! THE PET SHOP IS CLOSING DOWN AND WE'RE GONNA BE SENT TO THE LARGEST EVER PET SHOP!" Vinnie shouted in the Critic's face.

"That doesn't sound so ba-"

One explanation later...

"Okay, how could a pet shop manage to get a hold of bottomless pits, alien robots, and giant man eating fish?" The Critic asked.

"I dunno! I don't work there!" Vinnie said.

"Look, why are you asking me?" The Critic said. "Go ask someone who does something with their life."

"PLEASE, MAN! YOU GOTTA HELP US!" Vinnie sobbed. The Critic frowned at the sobbing lizard and sighed.

"Fine." He said. "I'll help you."

"Thank you. You the man." Vinnie said, wiping away tears. "By the way, you only have until tommorow." The sound of the Critic's cry of disbelief was loud enough to make a pan fall down on top of Vinnie.

"Um.. Sorry." The Critic said.

"No worries." Vinnie replied.

Meanwhile...

Penny Ling entered the Nerd's room. She looked around nervously. "Ooh...why did I have to get the one who yells all the time?" She said to herself. "Um... Mr. Nerd?" No reply. "Mr. Nerd? Are you here?" She approached a couch. She ignored the man with the guitar sleeping behind it and approached the bulging blanket on the floor. She pulled it back and uncovered the Nerd, fast asleep. "Um... Mr. Nerd?" She gently shook him. He woke up with a yell, looked at her and screamed.

"WHAT THE F*CK? WHAT THE F*CKING SH*T?!" He screamed.

"Um... I- I-" Penny Ling shrank back.

"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING IN MY F*CKING GODDAMN HOUSE?! ARE YOU PLANNING SOMETHING?! ARE YOU GONNA TEAR MY D*CK OFF AND FEED IT TO YOUR FRIENDS?!"

"I-..." Penny Ling was starting to tear up.

"WHAT ARE YOU F*CKING DOING IN HERE?! ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!" The Nerd screamed. He then stopped as he noticed Penny Ling had started crying. "Aw sh*t. Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it." Penny continued crying. "Aw, geez... stop crying. Aw, f*ck... Do you want a cookie? Would you like that? Eh?" He tried to hand her a cookie, but she shrunk back. "Aw sh*t biscuits... Look, come here." He picked the panda up and hugged her. "There, is that better?" The panda was still crying. "Look, I'll do whatever you want if you stop crying." He said.

"*Sniff* Will you help us save the Littlest Pet Shop?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, sure." The Nerd replied. "What, is it going out of business or something?"

*Sniff* "Uh-huh."

"All right, how long do we have?" The Nerd asked.

"Until tommorow." Penny Ling replied. The Nerd held back the loudest cuss of his life. Kyle Justin watched the Nerd with an expression that clearly read WTF before going back to sleep.

Meanwhile...

"Emile. Emiiiiile." Russell nudged Emile awake.

"Not now, Teddy. I'm trying to sleep." Emile muttered.

"Dude, he still does that." Teddy said to Kirby.

"Oh sure. Blame it all on the cats. Typical." Kirby muttered.

"Emile, please! Wake up!" Russell insisted.

"Fine, Teddy. I'll take you ou- AH!" Emile screamed as he noticed Russell.

"Hi." Russell said.

"It's the porcupine who sounds like Double D!" Emile screamed.

"I'm a hedgehog, actually." Russell replied.

"Oh. Sorry." Emile said.

"Eh. No worries." Russell shrugged. "Hey, um... who's Double D?"

"You never watched Ed, Edd n Eddy I'm assuming." Emile replied.

"Nope. Hey wait... your voice sounds familiar..." Russell said.

"Um... yeah, I'm... Chuggaaconroy." Emile said.

"Oh yeah! My owner is a HUGE fan of your videos. I rather enjoy them too. My personal favorite is Majora's Mask."

"Yeah, I had fun with that one." Emile said. "I was gonna do Kirby's Epic Yarn for my 20th Let's Play, but I guess I left it at Jon'e house."

"Oh, Kirby's Epic Yarn?" Russell asked. "I found that on the way up." He held up the game case.

"Holy crap! Thanks!" Emile said. "This game is great Let's Play MATERIAL, don't you agree?" He laughed at his own pun. Russell shook his head with a smile.

"I think you'd get along relatively well with Pepper." He said.

"Maybe I would." Emile said with a shrug.

Then he realized what he was doing. "Gah! What's happening to me?! Why can I suddenly understand animals?!"

"That's not important right now." Russell said.

"Uh, it kind of is." Emile argued.

"...Okay, true. But right now we need your help!"

"Help? With what?"

"We need you to help us prevent the Littlest Pet Shop from closing!"

"How do you expect me to do that?! I'm just a guy who plays video games and uploads it to YouTube!" Emile reasoned.

"PLEASE, EMILE! YOU HAVE TO TRY!" Russell begged. "If you don't help, we'll all be moved to the LARGEST EVER PET SHOP. Where we can't hang out together...the snacks are flavorless... and the squeaker toys have no squeakers! You gotta help us Emile! You just gotta! It's so bad, the others probably exaggerated every detail of it!"

"But what can I possibly do?" Emile asked.

"Don't worry. You probably won't be alone. Please... help us." Russell asked.

"... Okay. I'll see what I can do." Emile said finally.

"Thank you Emile! You won't regret this!" Russell said. He left the room to go back to the pet shop.

"This just keeps getting weirder by the minute..." Emile muttered. After having breakfast, brushing his teeth and showering, he went out in the hallway. He came across all the others he met the day before.

"Hey, guys." Drake said.

"Remember those animals from yesterday?" Josh asked.

"How could we forget?" Anthony replied.

"Well, the dog and mongoose showed up in our room today asking us to help save the pet shop." Drake said. "I think their names were Zoe and Sunil..."

"Dude, same here! For us it was Pepper, the skunk." Ian said.

"Minka came to me." Deadpool said. "She's the monkey by the way."

"I got the gecko, Vinnie." The Critic added.

"I got Penny Ling. I made her cry, so I offered to help because I felt f*cking horrible."

"For me it was Russell, the hedgehog." Emile added.

"So... I guess we're all in this together, huh?" Josh said.

"You know it, dude." Deadpool said.

"Yeah, we're totally gonna save the shop with my sweet fashion show idea!" Ian said, Everyone stared at him. "Um... just kidding?" He chuckled nervously. And so, the group got busy discussing how they were gonna save the shop.


	5. Planning

"For the last time, Deadpool, we have no method of getting a giant gorilla, an ice cream truck and Paris Hilton!" Josh snapped.

"Well, I don't have any other ideas and I wanna be included!" Deadpool defended himself.

"Okay, get this..." Ian began. "We get a giant dinosaur, a moving van and Justin Bieber..." Josh started slamming his head against the wall.

"I think we should just try something simple. Like, a business of some kind." Emile offered.

"Yes! That's good! Thank you, Emile!" Josh said. Then he looked at his watch. "Oh geez! Drake, we're gonna be late for school!"

"Pfft. Who cares?" Drake said, rolling his eyes and waving a hand dismissively.

"Uh, I do!" Josh said. "Now come on, we gotta get going!"

"Ugh... FINE." Drake said in annoyance. "Catch you guys later..."

"Have a good day." The Critic waved as Drake and Josh left.

"Maybe we should see if the pets have gotten any ideas." Anthony offered.

"Not a bad idea." The Nerd replied.

"Transition time!" Deadpool exclaimed. Then, after an image of Deadpool's head was superimposed over the screen and the camera zoomed right into it, the group was suddenly downstairs with the animals.

"H-How did you guys get down here?!" Russell asked.

"I-I have no idea!" Emile said.

"We just did a transition. Y'know, like in the old Adam West Batman show!" Deadpool said.

"You are a total weirdo!" The Critic exclaimed.

"Yeah, thanks! I know!" Deadpool replied.

Meanwhile...

"Well Drake... Here we are." Josh said.

"*Sigh...* Yep." Drake said.

"Well... Maybe this won't be so bad." Josh said. "Maybe we'll make some good friends."

"Yeah, maybe..." Drake muttered. And then they walked into the school, oblivious to the ominous looking limo that pulled up soon after...

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

"Okay, so who has an idea of how to save the Pet Shop?" Russell asked.

"Okay, get this, we take a giant gorilla-" Deadpool began.

"WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING WE NEED FOR YOUR PLAN!" Ian, Anthony, Emile, The Critic and the Nerd all snapped.

"Okay, okay!" Deadpool said defensively.

"The only way is to hold a show with lots of great singers!" Zoe said. "Like me!" Then she began a song.

"Yeah, yeah, come and save the Littlest Pet Shop, yeah, yeah, the Littlest Pet Shop, Littlest Pet Shop..."

"I kinda like that idea!" Deadpool interrupted. "Listen to my singing voice." He then proceeded to unleash what sounded like a combination of a banshee wailing and nails on a chalkboard, causing everybody within a 5000000 mile radius to scream in agony and fall to their knees with their hands over their ears. Deadpool stopped and glared at the author. "Oh yeah, that's real mature, Gamer95! Now I expect my singing voice to be back to normal by next chapter."

"Okay, anyway, in my opinion, a comedy show is really the thing that's gonna pack em in!" Pepper exclaimed. "Why did the rubber chicked cross the road?"

"Why?" Ian asked.

"Because he wanted to STRETCH his legs!" Ian and Anthony laughed like idiots, and Emile groaned with joy at the joke. After Ian and Anthony finished laughing an hour later, Vinnie tried to speak.

"Okay, two words: Da-"

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ian and Anthony started laughing again.

"Two word-"

"BAHAHAHAHA!"

"...Two wo-"

"BAHAHAHA!"

"...Two-"

"BAHAHAHAHA!"

"...T-"

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Vinnie glared at Ian and Anthony and opened his mouth to speak.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ian and Anthony were now ROFLing. Vinnie gritted his teeth in anger.

"TWOWORDSDANCEATHON!" Vinnie shouted quickly.

"That's three words." Emile pointed out.

"DON'T CARE!" Vinnie snapped.

"Whoa! Calm the f*ck down!" The Nerd said.

"You're right..." Vinnie said. Then he started dancing to show off his skills but tripped over his tail. "One word for you... OUCH!" Then Sunil appeared next to Russell.

"Maybe we can make Mrs. Twombly's problems...DISAPPEAR!" Then he attempted to throw down... whatever you call those things that explode into smoke...

"WHAT THE FU-" Deadpool began.

Mrs. Twombly was cleaning the counter, when she heard a deafening noise coming from the pets room. She went in to check.

"Is everything okay in here?!" She asked. She was greeted by the pets and humans all standing there wide eyed, completely black from being covered with soot. After they [and by they, I mean Russell, Mrs. Twombly, Emile, the Critic and the Nerd] cleaned up, they got back to planning.

"I have an idea!" Anthony said. "We could put on a comedic theater show! And me and Ian would be the stars!"

"Ugh!" Russell snapped. "Just once, can I get a suggestion that doesn't involve each of you taking the oppurtunity to show off?!"

"I have a suggestion..." Deadpool said ominously as an organ played.

"Really?" Russell said. "I suppose you want to show off as well?"

"No. It involves... Murder." Deadpool played more keys on his organ.

"TH-THAT'S YOUR OPTION?!" Russell said in disbelief.

"What? I'm a mercenary! It's what I do! We wipe out the competition, and BAM! The Pet Shop is saved!" Deadpool said.

"NO! IT'S NOT RIGHT!" Russell snapped.

"YOU'RE NO FUN!" Deadpool pouted. And nobody brought it up ever again. Why? Because Chuck Norris said so.

"Ugh... I wonder if Drake and Josh had an idea at school..." Russell said in exasperation.


End file.
